Qeemat ‘PANI’ ki nahi PYAAAAAAAAS ki hoti hai…

                              Agar apke ghar mein bachche hain aur unhein achhi education dena chahte hain toh kamar kass lijiye, aur 2-4 jodi joote chappal le lijiye…kyunki ab aap ban gaye hain “RACE” ka "GHODA"…daud-daud ke ye saare ghiss sakte hain…par han! daudane se pehle sone ke chane zaroor chaba lena…kyunki yahan “jitni jeb bhari utni hi tez bhag payenge aap”…!!! Waise ho sakta hai apke liye ye sab naya na ho…par jinhone ye mausam nahi dekhe hain “unke liye toh suhaana ho sakta hai, ya yun keh lein sambhalne ka achha bahaana ho sakta hai” 2 Experiences jo shayad apko chaunka de aur kaam bhi aaye.…

1.       Mera ek friend hai, ek MNC mein Software Engineer, 4 saal ki beti, hoshiyar, educated (Yani English bol leti hai), uske admission ke liye 60K donation kii zaroorat…jiska apko receipt nahi milegi…kyunki ye “ameeron ke liye daan” hai, iss donation se apka tax bhi save nahi hoga, khair…par mere friend ki ‘PYAAS’ thodi zyaada thi, achha kamaata hai, toh usse kaha gaya ki “itna ....hai, ab apki marzi aap jitna....de dein ‘badhakar’, usne race mein First aane ki than li thi…sawal beti ke future ka tha...usne diya 80K…who bewakoof bhi nahi hai kyunki usse pata hai Test mein Qualify bhi ho jaye toh uske marks uske donation ki value mein add kar ke hi calculate hoga…aur jab baat aisi thi toh usne risk nahi liya jeb thodi aur halki ki…toh seat confirm ho gyee…Congratulation!!!! Ab beti TOP toh zaroor karegi…na kahin toh shayad apne ghar mein hi TOP aa jaye…it's not a comment but near to reality!

2.       Ek aur friend hai aajkal who bas depression ke qareeb pahunchane wali hai…har din uthate-baithate bete ke admission ki chinta mein rehti hai, par baithi bhi nahi hai…chappalein ghiss rahi hai…har achhe school ki site pe survey, logon se mashvira, par samne khadi thi Donations ki deewarein 1 Lakh 20 thousand, 1 Lakh, 80 K, 70k, 60k etc. Budget utana nahi…par school bhi ache chahiye…Education se leke safety-security tak sabbb perfect hone chahiye…teachers atleast B.Ed. toh hone hi chhaiye, class room se outdoor sab clean and healthy environment bhi chahiye hi…toh jitni chahat utni moshakkat…at last 75k wala school pasand aaya… Interview clear…Written Test…idher maa bete ki qabliyat pe confident ki test qualify kar hi lega…udher school confident ki ab toh ye admission legi hi…iss becch Parents ke zehan mein ek sawaal utha ki “kahin school mein paise doob toh nahi jayenge” raqam moti thi toh dar bhi bhayawah...aur iss dar ki wajeh bhi thi…yahin pe "Delhi Public School” ke naam se, uski franchise lekar ek hungaamedar school ki opening hui, parents ne “dedh se 2 lakh tak” donation bhi diya, dhadalle se bachche ke bhawishya ke peechhe daud lagaye gaye par koi tha jo inse tez daud raha tha...BEIMAANI...Khoob admission liye gaye aur Kuchh dino baad sab lekar rafu-chakkar!!! Naam-o-Nishaan tak nahi bacha...par isne ab thandhi saans li bete ka ADMISSION ho gaya munh se nikla "BAHUT BADA KAAM HO GAYA"

                          Ab Kuchh sawal “Kya ANGREZI ki qeemat itni zyaada, Kya hum ANGREZ banaana chahte hain, kya hum school ke roop mein “apni beti ko vida karne ke liye achha ghar dhoondh rahe hain” ya phir kya kal ko sirf 99% obtain karne walon ko hi Oxygen milega!!! Dr. Rajendra Prasad “Swatantra Bharat ke Pehle RASHTRAPATI” pata hai shuruati education unko ek maulavi se mili thi…”Persian Hindi aur Arithmetic” ki, phir Chhapra (BIHAR), phir Kolkata…yani uss zamaane ke craze se, unhone mehsoos kiya hoga “ no need to go abroad” aur unke copy pe kya likha gya tha Examiner ke dwaara "examinee is better than examiner" yani “pariksharthi prikshak se uttam hai”. Mere NANA, jo mere Role Model the, aaj bhi hain aur  humesh rahenge… kya who kisi se kum the English, Persian, Arabic aur Hindi-Urdu mein, Suleman Chacha, mere muhalle ke Post office ke “DAAK BABU” Nana ke Jodidaar…Arabic, Persian, English, Hindi sabbb bilkul saaf n attractive…!!! Bhaiyon aur Bhaiyon ki behno…humein abchchon pe waqt dene ki zaroorat hai baqi sab theek ho jayega…TOP koi ek hi kar sakta…aur agar uski understanding level sahi hai toh usse TOP hone se kisi ka <BEEP> bhi nahi rok sakta…toh ye maan lijiye sab ki understanding level, sabka interest area ek sa nahi hota…iss liye zabardasti uski TANKI full na karo…warna bachcho ki “TANKI” full ho jaye na toh phat bhi sakti hai…Issi liye “PYAAS ghatao…kyunki Qeemat PAANI ki nahi PYAAS ki hai”

Excuse me Sir…

Zara aap hi bataiye jab 8:55 am office pahunchane ka waqt ho aur ghar pe hi 9:05 am baj jaye toh mann ka waqt kitna kharab hoga…Office der se pahunche uska dar nahi hai…malaal toh iss baat ka hai ki hafte mein 2 din late office pahunche toh 1 din ki salary…han!! Cut!!! Waise ghar se max 12 minutes ka raasta hai office ka par ye bhi sach hai ki “Nazdeeq walon ki hi gaadi chhootati hai” aur who bhi tab jab 20 mints grace time bhi mil raha ho….waise main har baar waqt pe hi pahunchata hun…par in dino humari taraf 2014 ke election ki taiyari ho rahi hai…taiyari matlab makeup…jahan facial kar ke bhi kaam chalaya ja sakta hai wahan plastic surgery karayee ja rahi hai…samajh gaye honge agar aap waqai “INDIAN” hongein…han! sahi samjha…sadak ban rahi hai humari 20’ gali ki…ek coat kar dete toh shayad sadak achhi ho sakti thi aur chal bhi sakti thi kaafi dino tak par…yahan policy hoti hai “Kuchh kharch, Kuchh rakhh” wali…khair main bhi kya sunaane laga…kehna toh Kuchh aur chah raha tha phir bhi isse consider kijiyega kyunki sirf 100 miter sadak banane mein abhi tak 16 din ho gaye par uski half sadak bhi tiyaar nahi hui…sadak khodi…gehraai hai 3’ (3 feets) ab aap hi bataiye aise mein parking se 4 wheeler kaise nikalun…maan lo nikaal bhi li toh phir chadhaun kaise…mushkil kya, nuksan aur khatara bhi hai…yahi wajeh hai ki Kuchh paidal phir auto se hote hue office pahunchata hun…par aaj toh Hud ho gayee….!!! Iss waqaye ko detail mein bata hun…ho sakta hai hansi bhi aaye apko…

                      Excuse me Sir…Auto Please….!! Sadak cross karte hi yahi awaz aayee thi kahin se…muda toh dekha ki ek banda welcome karte hue ‘mujhe auto chahiye kya ye pooch raha tha’…maine kaha “YUP” phir usne poochha…Where sir…maine address batay…Sure Sir, maine pooochha “HOW MUCH” phir ek smile ayee ‘Only 70 rs.’…ab mujhe hansi aayee aur ab maine welcome kiya…”saala tum ne toh SIR keh ke SAR hi kaatane ka jugaad kar liya” ab woh thoda apne aap mein aaya…khud pe hansa….kyunki pal bhar mein usne ek INDIAN ko uske ghar se beghar kar diya tha…shayad Videshi samjh baitha tha mujhe…ghalati uski bhi nahi hai…personality bhi meri Kuchh aisi hai…handsome hun aur physic bhi ENGLISH Man ki samjh lo…phir main pal bhar ke liye flash back mein chala gaya…apna bachpan yaad aa gaya mujhe “school time mein jab bhi play hota aur angrez ka character ho toh ANGREZ ka role mujhe hi milta tha…ussi accent mein Hindi bolni padti thi…ye alag baat hai ki English mein baat karna nahi aata tha…chaliye lautate hain vartamaan mein…Ab tak uto driver samjh chukka tha ki ab apni jageh pe aa jaana chahiye, par usse ghalati ho chuki thi…par ghalati ko sudhaarate hue kaha “ Sir maine sahi bataya hai, chaliye 60 de dijiye…par usse kya pata ki main bhi typical INDIAN hun…jahan main daily 40 rupaye deta hun wahan 45 tak mein bhi taiyaar na hun…houn bhi kaise har cheez toh aaye din mehangi ho rahi hai aur pocket tang…aur tangi mein mandi ka sauda kyun …jabki auto wala bhi issi tangi se pareshaan kuchh jugaad mein laga tha par main kyun…??? jabki seedha raasta 3 KM only, oopar se LPG…meri petrol Car hai toh mujhe daily ke 60 rupaye padte hain aane jaane mein…khair main zidd pe ada raha tab tak doosara auto wala aaya phir usne bhi 70 bola toh pehle wale ne bola “Dekha sir maine sach bola na” maine kaha “isharon isharon mein BILL lene wale, bata ye hunar tu ne sekha kahan se…..” phir who muskuraya main muskuraya phir hum apne apne raste chal pade, aur jaakar khada hua uss jageh se thoda alag…kyunki saare unke group ke autos the…second try bhi kar chukka tha phir bhi, teesare ko roka, chauthe ko roka aur 40 rupaye dekar Office…theek 20 grace minute ke ander…lekin abhi tak mujhe who sentence nahi bhool raha “Excuse me Sir….”!!!

Aa ab laut chalein …

Maine hi phone kiya tha…udher se bahut hi dull awaz aayee… "Hellooooo" phir maine kaha “kyun mam ab toh Studio nahi hai, phir neend kyun aa rahi hai” udher unhein Kuchh samajh paana mushkil ho raha tha, awaz aayee…hainn…kaun…?!!! Dar asal jab main wahan that oh sabhi ladkiyan Kuchh ko chhod ke lunch ke baad ek jhapki maarne mere Studio mein aa jaaya karti thin…mujhe achha bhi lagta tha…kyunki Kuchh toh rest banta hai lunch ke baad…par afsos ki jab maine wahan se Job chhodi toh Studio barkhast ho gya…khair, unke chaunkane se mujhe bahut hansi aayee, idher main hans raha tha aur  aur udher mam pareshan ho rahi thin…awaz pehchan rahin thin par naam yaad nahi aa raha tha…unki bechaini dekh ke mujhe achha lag raha tha…wajeh…ki main yaad hun aur naam yaad karne ki bechaini mujhe Special bana raha tha unki Nazar mein…aur main unke liye khas tha bhi…chhote bhai ki tarah maanti thin…yahan tak ki apne chhote bhai se samaanata bhi bataati thin…isliye unko pareshan nahi dekha gaya…maine clue dena shuru kiya…Kuchh option diye, Kaha Atul, aakash, Anil, sab pe who na na kehti gayeen jab maine Ashraf bola toh kaha han! Aisa hi naam hai… Kuchh baatein ummeed se pare hoti hain aur Kuchh rishte waqt ki dhool tale dhundhle ho jaate hain…par kisi waqt ek hawa ka jhonka aata hai aur uss dhundhlapan ko door kar saaf-saaf yaadon ki tasweerein saamne laane lagta hai…aur mann mayur sa naachne lagta hai…Kuchh ais ahi ho raha tha wahan…!! Phir who peechhe mudin aur kisi se poochha “arre who ladka kaun tha tumhara bhi dost tha mera bhi dost tha…Radio mein kaam karta tha…phir usne anjaan ban ke kaha kaun ladka…jabki uske chehre pe muskurahat samander ki lahron ki tarah uth rahi thi aur who ussko dabaane ki koshish bhi kar rahi thi…waise ye uski khasiyat bhi thi…who humesha badi muskaan ko bhi samet kar chhoti aur cute si smile mein badal deti thi, ye khubsoorat hunar tha uska…aur mujhe bahut pasand tha…aaj bhi yaad hai mujhe uske liye ek song gungunaya tha….”Simti si sharmayee si kiss duniya se tum aayee ho….” Oh!! Main kahan jar aha tha aur kahan jaane laga…han! woh ek tarah se iss situation ko enjoy kar rahi thi…aur iss waqt usse apni uss hansi ko chhuupaane mein kaafi mushkil aa rahi thi….aur bhed khulne ka dar bhi tha…par shayad who kamyaab rahi…ek sach ye bhi tha who bataye ya na bataye par ab main hun Radio aur awaz se juda hua toh koi naam yaad rakhe na na rakhe awaz toh bhoolane se raha na…aur unhein toh aur nahi jinhein maine qareeb 18 months entertain kiya ho…Shayari se ho, chutkule se ho apne FM Shows se ho ya ho office ke tense mahaul ko bhi apni mastiyon se bilkul light mood mein la dena…ye alag baat hai Kuchh ko meri ye adaa pasand nahi thi par memory mein feed toh tha hi na…mam bhi awaz pehchan rahi thin aur unhone kaha ki “Aa se naam tha….hmmmmm….han! ADIL!!!!! Iss naam ke zubaan pe aate hi uss lamhe unki zindagi mein raahat ka ek sailaab sa aa gaya phir who mudi meri life ki taraf poochha “kaise ho…kaam kaisa chal raha hai, bachche-wache…aate nahi hum logon se milne humlog tumhein bahut miss karte hain…” jab unhone ye kaha ki “ab hum log yahan theek se muskuraate bhi nahi hai”  toh phir ek baar dil ne ye kaha ki "Aa ab laut chalein…" matlab

DIL"  ab laut chalein...

Khayal bhar se dar lagta hai…

Subeh uthane ke sath hi zehan ko jhakjhor diya mehaz ek khayaal ne, kaise bataun uss “khayaal bhar se dar lagta hai…” aaj se chhatthe (6th) din main ghar ko jar aha hun Eid celebrate karne…dimaagh toh allow nahi kar raha tha kyunki haalat Kuchh tangi si hai…poore tour ka kharch rok raha tha mujhe par dil mein “Ammi” ki mohabbat ka jazba qadam ko aage badhne ke liye samjho baar-baar command de raha tha…aur chabhi pad bhi gayee thi…

main, meri wife aur meri 2 sal ki bitiya…jinmein meri jaan basti hai…teeno chale ja rahe hain, ghar ke liye, AC 2 tier ke pehle hi cabin ke 2 berth humaare the…aur dono hi berth upper…ab family sath ho toh apko kayee zarooraton ki wajeh se neeche utarna hi padta hai….kayee baar train se bahar platform par bhi…waise bhi ye train 5 states se guzar kar mere ghar ko pahunchati hai…lamba rout toh stoppage bhi khas-khas aur khas jagahon pe nazaara bhi khaas…chahe Nazar khaane ki cheezon pe jaye ya phir idher-udher thodi der ke liye aap shunya mein chale jaate hain...mere sath bhi wahi hua…Train ki Average speed waise toh qareeb 45km/hr. phir bhi humari speed se angina times zyaada…khas kar uss waqt jab aap chhoot chhoot gaye hon…!! Hua waisa hi Kuchh…aahista-aahista train platform se sarakti gayee theek waise hi jaise waqk ret ki tarah haathon se sarakta hai…peechhe muda toh na train platform pe thi aur na hi jaan badan mein…zamana ke hisaab se khayal bhi aaye toh bure bure…kyunki ye koi “JAB WE MET” film bhi nahi thi ki taxi se bhaag kar hum agale station pe train ko pakad bhi lein…kyunki aajkal long rout pe jaane ke liye har jageh shahar se baahat xpress way hone laga hai jitni jaldi pahunchati hai shehar ke raaste utne hi slow hote hain…sab ke sath ek khayal ki meri biwi bachche ko kaise sambhal payegi…ye bhi yaad nahi ki uske paas paise hain bhi nahi, phir sukoon ye bhi hota ki agar usne khud ko sambhal liye toh seedhe ghar toh pahunch hi jayegi…phir khayal aaya ki kahin pareshani mein meri chul-buli beti kahin aur raste nikal gayee toh…phir ye bhi khayal aata ki kahin TTE ne badtameezi ki toh…aur khayal ye bhi aaya toh…ki kisi ne mashwira de diya ki aap kisi nazdeeq ke station pe utar jao wahan apke Husband asaani se pahunch sakte hain toh….bas bas bas!!!! Itna hi kehte hue maine khud ko vartamaan mein, present mein kheench kar laya…!! Saansein tez-tez chal rahi thin, maathe pe paseena aur seena dhak-dhak maar raha tha…bhag kar bedroom mein gaya toh dono “Biwi aur Beti” araam se so rahe the, phir ye socha ab train nahi ghoom-ghoom kar hi sahi par flight  se hi jayenge.

Jab toofan thama toh Ek sawal mere zehan mein aaya  “kya main inse itna pyar karta hun” ? 

Main aur meri tanhai aksar ye baatein karte hain...

Main aur meri tanhai aksar ye baatein karte hain

Tum hotin toh kaisa hota

Tum ye kehtin, tum who kehtin

Tum iss baat pe hairan hotin….waghairah waghairah…!

                                                   

Waise iss baat pe toh hairaan main bhi hota hun ki insaan itna ziddi kyun hota hai…jo Nazar ko bha gaya, wahi chahiye kyun hota hai, aise mein usse behtar bhi kyun nahi dikhta…sunane aur dekhne mein ajeeb lagta hai na…chalte-phirte, class mein, office mein yahan tak ki safar aur shadion mein bhi koi pasand aa gaya/gayee toh mujhe wahi chahiye…poori edi-choti ki zor laga deta hai….theek waise hi jaise bachche khilauno ke liye zidd kar baithate hain…par pasand bachche ki bhi badalti hai jab khilauna puraana ho jaata hai ya phir usse behtar koi doosara khilauna dikh gaya…meri beti toh Kuchh aisi hi hai…ho sakta hai ye asar mujhse hi gaya ho…khair…pasand badalti toh bade ki bhi hai, agar unki pasand unki “ummeed” pe khari na uteri ho ya phir who khud oob jayein…rishte se bhi…, kehne ka matlab, ye poem har haalat mein samne hoti hai…jab bhi insaan ki humsafar tanhayee hoti hai….aur aise mein who khud se baatein karta hai aur uss khud mein hota hai who aur who bhi jisne ye tanhaayee saughaat mein di hui hoti/hota hai… …aur aise mein inn dono ki common friend hoti hain unki yaadein!!! Ek bahut hi khubsoorat she’r hai jo film mein bhi use kiya gaya hai

“Kabhi kisi ko mukammal jahan nahi milta

Kahin zameen toh kahin aasman nahi milta”

                               

Ye ek kadwa sach hai…jiski ghoont hum sab ko lagaana chahiye… hum sab ko isse qubool karna chahiye aur phir ek khud ka jahan banaana chahiye jahan hum simatkar apne samne padi khushiyon ko enjoy karein na ki ateet ki baton mein inn khbsoorat lamho ka QATL karein…kyunki waqt sarak jaye toh muthi khali ho jati hai…aur kehte hain khali mutthi khak ki hoti hai…yani aap iss jahan ke sabse ghareeeb insane hote hain…toh hum apne khayalon ki haseen duniya se bahar aayein phir dekhein duniya kitni haseen hai…Ek lafz hota hai “QAYAAS” jo khayali duniya ka humsafar hota hai…jo shayeri main ne shuru mein padhi thin a…”main aur meri tanhayee…” uss mein ye saaf-saaf jhalakta hai…jo sach hai aur normal n common bhi hai…kisi ke sath bhi hota hai, ho sakta hai…par iska asar… “bahut hi abnormal” hota hai…isse apka aaj aaj toh gaya hi kal ka behtar hona bhi mushkil ho sakta hai …Qayaas ka kya…hum Kuchh bhi laga lein…ab aap hi sochiye “Hindustan mein Mughal nahi aaye hote toh kya hota…agar che Pakistan-Bharat se alag nahi hua hota toh kya hota aur agar Hindustan ne Angrezon ko ghulam banaya hota toh kya hota!!! Ye sab bas khayalon mein achha lagta hai zameeni sach banane mein Kya ho sakta hai ye aap bhi jaante hain…par jaankar bhi hum banate anjaan hain…ye sab peechhe ki baatein hain saamne jo ho raha hai wahi sach hai aur ye apke kal pe seedha asar daalega…aur apko bas yahi sochana hai…so let’s move on aur aaj ko banaate hain aur isse apna samjhkar isse jee bhar jeete hain…aur Shayari ka rang Kuchh aisa rakhte hain…

Main aur meri wife aksar ye baatein karte hain

Tum nahi hotin toh kaisa hota

Tum ye kaise kehtin, tum who kaise kehtin

Tum iss baat pe hairan kaise hotin….

Tum meri baton pe kaise hanstin

Main aur meri wife aksar ye baatein karte hain…..